Today we discuss how nicknames for young boys can help them socialize better, how archaeologists in Poland have unearthed the grave of a woman people feared might return from the dead, and a new study that disproves Freud’s theory that more successful people are unhealthier than less successful people.
Today we discuss how nicknames for young boys can help them socialize better, how archaeologists in Poland have unearthed the grave of a woman people feared might return from the dead, and a new study that disproves Freud’s theory that more successful people are unhealthier than less successful people.
Boyhood Nickname
Vampire Grave
Wrecked by Success
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Find episode transcripts here: https://curiosity-daily-4e53644e.simplecast.com/episodes/boyhood-nickname-vampire-grave-wrecked-by-success
NATE: Hi! You’re about to get smarter in just a few minutes with Curiosity Daily from Discovery. Time flies when you’re learnin’ super cool stuff. I’m Nate.
CALLI: And I’m Calli. If you’re dropping in for the first time, welcome to Curiosity, where we aim to blow your mind by helping you to grow your mind. If you’re a loyal listener, welcome back!
NATE: Today you’ll learn about how nicknames for young boys can actually help them socialize better, how archaeologists in Poland have unearthed the grave of a woman people feared might return from the dead, and a new study that disproves Freud’s theory that more successful people are usually unhealthier than less successful people.
CALLI: Without further ado, let’s satisfy some curiosity!
[SFX: WHOOSH]
NATE: Calli, did you ever have any embarrassing nicknames growing up?
CALLI: Uh, okay, no, not embarrassing, like my family had a really sweet nickname for me. I was called Happy Eyes growing up or Cal by my friends, but that was fine. But, I’m just Call, you know?
NATE: Sure, I hear that. I recently found out that, specifically for young boys, nicknames can be really important. Recently a clinical psychologist Jett Stone wrote an article talking all about the importance of boyhood nicknames, what they say about our sense of belonging, and how they can help us become better people, even if they’re kind of embarrassing nicknames like Jerkface, or TurkeyRot, or GravyGoblin.
CALLI: Okay, wait. Are those…nicknames of people you know?
NATE: Noooo, and not nicknames that anyone ever gave me. Nevermind. Anyway, research shows that the prevalence of nicknames has actually been declining in the last few years. Researchers aren't sure why but it might have to do with people creating more curated usernames for online profiles, or just the prevalence of more unique sounding names. But Stone says we lose something when we lose nicknames!
CALLI: I mean do we lose more than just a few laughs between friends?
NATE: Well don’t underestimate those laughs! Stone says nicknames help young men better understand communication, bond with other males, and help with being better socializers later in life! Plus on top of that, they are just a really fun reflection of your past emotions, habits, and behaviors. It's always revealing to ask someone about their childhood nicknames! They’re a sort of time traveler’s window into your past life, even if they are embarrassing.
CALLI: K but, when do you have to worry about embarrassing going into the realm of bullying, though?
NATE: Well, Stone says if we are quick to dismiss nicknames as bullying, even the embarrassing nicknames, we miss some of the benefits that come after a bit of…social friction. He says they help boys build emotional resilience, and help them feel like part of a group.
CALLI: Okay so, social friction? I do feel like sometimes I see boys give each other nicknames where someone clearly doesn't like the nickname they’re given.
NATE: Sure, and Stone says that might be young boys testing out how strong of a friendship they have. Can friends work out their issues and work together, even as they purposefully ruffle each other's feathers? In this way, even some of the most cringeworthy nicknames show that you are a part of the group, and that the group trusts you.
CALLI: Who gets nicknames in these kinds of groups? Is it only the cool friends? The leaders of the group?
NATE: Well, they can reflect the pecking order in a group. But they can also be used to pull some boys out of social isolation, to goad them into being part of the group. And if friends see one of their own getting a little overly confident, they can knock him off his pedestal a bit. Nicknames can be great for keeping balance in a group, and teaching boys to socialize well, feel like they belong, and respect each other!
CALLI: So it seems like nicknames have a lot of benefits within a group, but do those extend to the rest of your life? Or to your identity? Does being called something like Tiny, if you’re a big guy, really make you a better person?
NATE: Stone says it does! Rather than being born into a family, being part of a group and getting a nickname means you are forming your own sort of social order, your own tribe. Young boys are able to collaboratively and creatively create and express their identities! Plus, it's a way to practice showing affection and self acceptance in a way that can feel safe for boys as they try to navigate what can sometimes be a toxic process of growing into a man.
CALLI: Okay, sure, that makes sense! Plus, it's hard to hide from your flaws when your friends are calling you something like Mr. Late Nate.
NATE: Okay, I have to talk to Dr. Stone about projection nicknames because you have the problem with punctuality, not me. But yes, Stone says that being given a nickname, and not being able to curate our image, like we do on social media, makes us confront ourselves, and be more accepting of ourselves, warts and all.
[SFX: WHOOSH]
CALLI: Nate, Nate, Nate, Nate, Nate. Hi. Did you hear that archeologists in Poland just found the grave of a vampire?
NATE: Umm. You mean like a human vampire?
CALLI: I do!! I do mean a human vampire! I love vampires! Okay so, archeologists uncovered a 17th-century grave that would make Dracula himself jealous. But don’t worry, the finding doesn’t prove that the skeleton is from a real blood sucking undead vampire, it just means whoever buried this woman, thought, or at least feared, that the dead….might not remain dead.
NATE: Alright that makes a little more sense. So I know that stories about vampires have been popular for a reaaaally long time but I had no idea that people were actually taking precautions against them.
CALLI: Well, you’re actually totally right, there are actually stories about vampires and the undead in cultures all over the world dating back about 4,000 years! Ancient Mesopotamia had stories about undead monsters, Hebrew texts had the monster LIlith, who stole infants and unborn children. The Greeks had a similar monster Lamia, who drank the blood of young children, and Chinese folklore had corpse monsters who would rise from their graves to attack the living! Since the lore was so popular, it makes sense that people would try different methods of protecting themselves from the undead.
NATE: Okay, so this was a fear all over the place? I mean I can’t blame them, I don’t like the sound of undead monsters either! But when did this idea of “I vahnt to suck your blood” vampirism make its way to our pop culture?
CALLI: So, first off, great Dracula impression. Next up, well, the first news reports written in English, and I mean news reports not pop culture, came around 1732. Hysteria swept through much of Eastern Europe as people worried about epidemics of vampirism! That continued all the way into the 19th century, which is when you see pop culture references like Bram Stoker’s Dracula.
NATE: So if people were so afraid of the undead and vampires, what were they doing to protect themselves? Was everyone carrying around garlic and mirrors?
CALLI: Well, archeologists found examples of how people protected themselves, and in most cases, it involved trying to make sure that the dead…stayed dead.
NATE: So, is that what they found with the Polish woman?
CALLI: Yes! They also found that she was of high social status! She was a young woman, and she was buried with a lot of care: she had a silk cap on, which is just something that a lower or middle class person just couldn’t have afforded. She was buried with a sickle blade, not just near her, but attached directly over her neck, in such a way that if she were to…try to lean up, it would slice her head off, or at least cause a grizzly injury. She also had a padlock on her big toe!
NATE: Why the lock on her toe?
CALLI: Archeologists say it's a symbol for the closing of your life, and how it is impossible to return.
NATE: Alright, they must have really not wanted her to come back.
CALLI: Oh yeah they wanted to be sure she wouldn’t. Out of fear, they often decapitated the dead, or cremated them, or drove a wooden stake through their heart. Sometimes they'd even put things in their mouths, or cut off limbs or smash their bodies with stones, it's pretty gruesome stuff. But these people weren't fooling around! They were really scared of the undead!
NATE: Was there any specific reason they were afraid she was a vampire?
CALLI: Okay so, archeologists say she had big, noticeable, protruding teeth. They would have stood out in town, and may have made other people suspicious of her, despite her high class. This was at a time where people thought that any unique physical features were signs of evil.
NATE: Difficulties of living in a time before orthodontia, that’s kind of rough. I guess I could see how you would need those teeth for sucking blood? Or at least biting? Okay well, how did they find her grave?
CALLI: Well, a few years ago they found some medieval corpses in the area. They found jewelry, stones, bowls, and silk cloth. They went back recently to continue the dig, but they couldn’t find anything new, so they moved on to a nearby 17th century graveyard.
NATE: Wow, okay. “Can’t find anything here, let’s just go dig up dead bodies!” Rude but alright I guess that’s an exciting thing to find. What’s next for our vampiress?
CALLI: So, researchers are learning a lot about burial practices and fears, but they say next they’re going to do DNA testing and see what else they can learn about this woman.
NATE: Well hopefully that DNA comes back 100% dead! How long does someone have to be dead before it goes from grave robbing to archaeology?
CALLI: [Laughs] Please keep that! Please keep that!
[SFX: WHOOSH]
NATE: Calli, I’m here to tell you that Sigmund Freud was wrong.
CALLI: Yeah. Okay, listen, you’re coming in HOT with this topic today, but I’m gonna need to you explain a little more. Even if I agree.
NATE: Well, there’s a theory of his called the “Wrecked-by-Success” phenomenon. It’s a pretty well studied theory created by our guy Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, that proposes that successful people pay a huge price in their health for their success. It’s so popular that it’s often cited as common knowledge! But, as I mentioned, recent research has come out to disprove this theory. There’s not one, but TWO different studies showing that people living successful lives are equally healthy to, and sometimes healthier than, their less successful peers.
CALLI: Maybe I don’t pay attention to “common knowledge,” which is probably something I should do. But it makes sense to me that successful people would be healthier. More money equals more resources, and more resources equals more options for survival. So, as much as it pains me to say, how could Freud have gotten this wrong?
NATE: Well, the theory really took off in the 90’s, after Freud’s time, when a clinical psychologist named Steven Berglas defined it as, and I quote, a “condition that develops when the rewards of success expose an individual to a variety of psychologically stressful situations; these render him vulnerable to disorders ranging from depression and drug abuse to self-inflicted failures and even suicide.” Now, how Berglas even got to this definition was through the research of Freud which, by the way, was based on some pretty anecdotal evidence. He knew some people that he felt proved his hypothesis, such as a woman who was diagnosed with mental illness after trying and failing to marry her partner, and an academic whose mentor retired and he never got over it.
CALLI: K, I mean, it makes sense, but it doesn’t take into account the stress of day-to-day living for the working class, right? I mean this seems like a very narrow focus to say only the successful can be “wrecked.”
NATE: That’s what current researchers Harrison J. Kell and his colleagues at Vanderbilt University thought when they revived this theory to investigate. So, they conducted two studies. In Study Number One, they analyzed data from the 1,800 most successful participants from a study known as the Study of Mathematically Precocious Youth. These participants fell within the top 1 percent of all students surveyed. In study number two, they quizzed a group of 714 elite STEM doctoral students. In both studies, researchers asked participants about their income and to complete assessments of their physical and mental health, psychological status, and so on. 25% of participants with the highest income were considered “exceptionally successful,” while the remaining 75% of participants were considered “less successful.” It’s important to note that both of these groups consisted of very intelligent people, whose only notable difference was a level of success.
CALLI: And now it’s time for the moment of truth. This is the part where you say, “Screw You Freud!”
NATE: I’m not gonna say “Screw You Freud,” but… contrary to whatever you’d expect from the “wrecked-by-success” hypothesis, the “exceptionally successful group” was either healthier or of equal health than the less successful group in both studies. There were actually more people with NO health problems in the exceptionally successful group, and those that reported health problems had way less of them on average compared to the less successful group. This was the case for both men and women.
CALLI: Wow. So not only was Freud wrong, but his research didn’t include any difference in gender AND the current studies found it was the same across gender? That’s kinda wild!
NATE: Well, it wasn’t ALL the same. While “exceptionally successful” men had more biological children, were more likely to be married, and less often to be divorced compared to their less successful peers, the “exceptionally successful” women had fewer biological children on average then their less successful peers. Technically, the marriage and divorce statistics were lower too, but the researchers concluded that the difference was so small it doesn’t prove anything.
CALLI: That’s really interesting, because that could be read in a number of ways. Statistically speaking, modern women are far less likely to view any of that as a barometer of success; if anything, that could be a STATUS of success.
NATE: Exactly. And that thought is in line with the researchers’ conclusion that “wrecked-by-success” is a bit of a stretch. They believe that it’s all a case of heightened expectations. When you experience failure after a lifetime of success, it feels worse than it actually is, right? And these studies admittedly have a few limitations - for instance, ALL the people included in the study were successful in their careers. So, results might have been different if the success of people with more common ability levels were studied. But there’s one thing we know for sure.
CALLI: And that’s “Screw You, Freud!”
NATE: No, it’s that science is constantly evolving. Freud DID have a point, based on the evidence in front of him, and it was one that endured for a long time. But as time moves on, the science of success does, too. So in short: maybe it was once possible to be wrecked by success but success today just looks different. We can simultaneously respect Freud’s work and look into it with a more modern context.
CALLI: Okay, we’ll split the work here. You can respect Freud, and I can look into it in a more modern context.
NATE: Fair enough.
[SFX: WHOOSH]
NATE: Let’s recap what we learned today to wrap up. Boyhood nicknames, even the embarrassing ones, may make you a better person, more able to socialize well. They can help you learn to value yourself, and work out problems with others.
CALLI: Archaeologists in Poland have found the grave of a female vampire! Or, at least the grave of someone locals feared was a vampire. The burial included a sickle across the throat to make sure if the woman tried to become undead, she would decapitate herself.
NATE: Does success come at a high price to your well-being? Recent research suggests that Sigmund Freud’s famous ”wrecked-by-success” theory might not be right, and that successful people are, as a whole, much healthier than their less successful peers. This teaches us a valuable lesson about the constant evolution of science, and especially about how successful people perceive failure!