Curiosity Daily

Why You Need Self-Compassion for Self-Improvement

Episode Summary

Learn about why adding cold cream to your coffee keeps it hotter longer, why social identity can make people distrust the scientific consensus, and why you need self-compassion for self-improvement.

Episode Notes

Learn about why adding cold cream to your coffee keeps it hotter longer, why social identity can make people distrust the scientific consensus, and why you need self-compassion for self-improvement.

Why Adding Cold Cream to Your Coffee Keeps it Hotter Longer by Ashley Hamer

Cultural Cognition Is Why People Don't Trust The Scientific Consensus by Ashley Hamer

For self-improvement, you need self-compassion by author Kelsey Donk

Subscribe to Curiosity Daily to learn something new every day with Ashley Hamer and Natalia Reagan (filling in for Cody Gough). You can also listen to our podcast as part of your Alexa Flash Briefing; Amazon smart speakers users, click/tap “enable” here: https://www.amazon.com/Curiosity-com-Curiosity-Daily-from/dp/B07CP17DJY

 

Find episode transcript here: https://curiosity-daily-4e53644e.simplecast.com/episodes/why-you-need-self-compassion-for-self-improvement

Episode Transcription

ASHLEY HAMER: Hi, you're about to get smarter in just a few minutes with Curiosity Daily from Curiosity.com. I'm Ashley Hamer.

 

NATALIA REAGAN: And I'm Natalia Reagan.

 

CODY GROUGH: And I'm Cody Grough.

 

ASHLEY HAMER: Ahh, Gough is back.

 

CODY GROUGH: Hey, it's me.

 

ASHLEY HAMER: Yes.

 

CODY GROUGH: And you are about to get smarter in just a few minutes with Curiosity Daily from Curiosity.com. But how, Natalia?

 

NATALIA REAGAN: Today, you'll learn why adding cold cream to your coffee keeps it hotter longer, why social identity can make people distrust the scientific consensus, and why you need self-compassion for self-improvement.

 

CODY GROUGH: Let's satisfy some curiosity. Nobody likes a cold cup of coffee, so how about a life hack to keep your hot cup of joe warmer longer. Take it from a guy who is clearly very caffeinated right now.

 

If you like your coffee with cream or soy milk, you might think you should add it to your brew right before you drink it. So your coffee doesn't get cold, right? But according to physics, you should actually add that refrigerated refreshment to your drink immediately. And that's because, believe it or not, coffee with cream stays hotter for longer than black coffee does.

 

I'm a black coffee drinker, but I'll trust the science on this one. I don't know about you, Ashley.

 

ASHLEY HAMER: Oh, yes, black coffee all the way.

 

CODY GROUGH: Natalia?

 

NATALIA REAGAN: Oh, no. I like to load it up with all sorts of cream.

 

CODY GROUGH: So this whole idea is thanks to a few different principles in physics. The first is pretty straightforward. Dark colors absorb more heat than light colors. I mean, think about the difference between wearing white and black on a hot day. That means dark colors emit more heat too. So dark coffee is going to lose heat faster than milky coffee.

 

And the next principles aren't quite as intuitive. Hotter things also lose heat faster, according to something called the Stefan-Boltzmann law. Also, the bigger the difference in temperature between two objects in contact with each other, like the coffee and the air, the faster the hotter one will lose its heat to the cooler one, according to Newton's law of cooling.

 

Now, at first, this might seem like coffee with cream is just getting off on a technicality. It cools down more slowly, because it starts off colder. Sure, but wouldn't that head start that extra hot black coffee gets help keep it hotter than its creamy counterpart? Well, no, especially if your plan is to add cream eventually.

 

To illustrate, say Natalia and I both get a cup of coffee. Natalia adds cream immediately, reducing the temperature. I, on the other hand, wait 5 minutes to add the cream. And because my coffee starts off hotter, it loses heat more quickly.

 

So after 5 minutes, it's about the same temperature as Natalia's. But I still need to add the cream, which will lower the temperature even more. Congratulations on your hotter cup of coffee. Finally, there's the fact that adding cream to coffee increases its volume and its viscosity or thickness.

 

So just like a bathtub cools more slowly than a pot of warm water, you have to remove more heat from a bigger cup of coffee than a smaller one in order to lower their temperatures by the same amount. The choice is clear. If you want your coffee to stay hot, add cream as soon as possible.

 

ASHLEY HAMER: From evolution to climate change, there are plenty of scientific topics that have the public embroiled in controversy, even when the scientists are in agreement. How is that possible? Why don't people just trust the experts? It may come down to a phenomenon called cultural cognition, the tendency for your social identity to shape your beliefs, especially when it comes to controversial ideas.

 

In a 2010 study published in the Journal of Risk Research, a team of researchers set out to see how people's worldviews affect how they interpret expert information. First, they gave the participants a survey to find out how they thought about the world. Did they believe more in a social hierarchy and individualism or in equality and community?

 

Next, the researchers performed a series of experiments. They asked the participants to say whether most scientists agreed with statements, such as human activity is causing global warming and permitting adults without criminal records or mental illness to carry concealed handguns decreases violent crime. If people form their beliefs on controversial matters just by expert opinion and evidence, the participants answers should have been split down the middle, regardless of worldview. As I'm sure you've guessed, that's not what happened.

 

What participants thought about the scientific consensus was heavily biased by their worldview. On the issue of global warming, the individualists were more likely to believe that experts were divided. While the community-minded participants believe that most experts agreed. On the idea that concealed handgun laws decrease crime, the communitarians believed experts disagreed with the statement. And the more individualists believe they agreed.

 

The same thing happened with individual experts. In another experiment, the participants read a book excerpt from a fictional expert on a particular topic. The expert's credentials stayed the same, but their position on the topic changed from person to person. After reading, participants had to decide whether the author was a trustworthy and knowledgeable expert on the issue.

 

Sure enough, if the experts said global warming was a big risk to the planet, individualists said he wasn't trustworthy. And the communitarian said he was. If the same professor said there wasn't clear evidence for global warming's risks, the answers flipped.

 

If you've wondered why people have such wildly different opinions when it comes to something scientists see as cut and dry. This is why. Your worldview and cultural identity don't just color your beliefs about subjective things, but objective reality too.

 

NATALIA REAGAN: With all the stress of the pandemic, lockdowns, and politics, we're seeing lots of reminders to be kind to ourselves. It's hard right now, they say, and you've got to give yourself a break. But for some of us, that's easier said than done.

 

If you tend to be critical of yourself because you think self-compassion will keep you from your goals, well, I've got news for you. Science says it's exactly the opposite. First, let's back up and talk about what self-compassion actually means. It's not just patting yourself on the back when you face something hard. You can think of self-compassion as treating yourself with the same kindness and generosity you'd have for a close friend.

 

When a friend fails at something, you probably don't remind them of all the ways they screwed up. Instead, you might offer words of comfort, let them know you don't judge them for it, and remind them that nobody's perfect. Self-compassion means doing the same for yourself. Self-compassion isn't just good for your mental health. It's good for your goals.

 

For a paper published last month, researchers led by Kristina Quill at Drexel University performed three studies. In one, they asked people to imagine scenarios where a mistake on their part led to a disastrous result, then indicate how they'd respond and how hard they'd try to improve to make sure it didn't happen again. The team found that the people who said they'd respond with self-compassion were more likely to work on improving themselves afterward. Why would this be?

 

Well, it's all about healthy coping. People with lots of self-compassion tend to be kind about their own failures and mistakes, and tend to think of failure as a shared human experience. People with this kind of emotional acceptance are more motivated to work on their weaknesses. Because they don't sink into defeatism when something bad happens.

 

If self-compassion is hard for you, these researchers have a solution. In another study, they found that when people read short articles about self-compassion, they had a much better time coping with challenges. In other words, just knowing that self-compassion is a good thing can help people practice it in their daily lives.

 

The best news of all is that just listening to this podcast might help you have a little more self-compassion. So the next time something bad happens, don't be so hard on yourself. You're only human after all.

 

CODY GROUGH: Hey, that was pretty fun. Before we wrap up, I thought I'd ask. Natalia, I know you've got a lot of fans, since you've been doing the show for a while now. So for the rest of this week, would you mind sticking around so we can all do Curiosity Daily?

 

NATALIA REAGAN: Let me think about it. Yes, Yes, please. Yes, it's been so much fun, so yes.

 

ASHLEY HAMER: Well, in that case, let's all recap what we learned today.

 

NATALIA REAGAN: OK, well, starting with, we learned that despite the fact that it might sound counterintuitive, actually adding cream to hot coffee immediately when you pour it keeps it hotter longer, since darker matter emits more heat. So black coffee will cool faster than light coffee. And I put a lot of cream in my coffee. So it gets real light.

 

Hotter substances also get cooler quicker, and then there is a Newton super cool wall of cooling, which says that when there are two substances that have a really great difference in temperature, the hotter object will lose its warmth to the cooler object pretty darn fast, like black coffee and cool air. Plus, adding cream to coffee adds to its volume. So that's another way that it'll keep it nice and warm longer.

 

ASHLEY HAMER: I mean, I've known this for a while now, and this still just bakes my noodle. I don't know how this is possible. Physics is so wild.

 

CODY GROUGH: You bake noodles?

 

ASHLEY HAMER: Yeah, lasagna, Cody. Come on.

 

NATALIA REAGAN: Yeah, ziti.

 

CODY GROUGH: Oh, right. Yeah. No. OK, good. Yeah, that's good.

 

ASHLEY HAMER: And we also learned that someone's worldview affected their belief in objective truths, like scientific data. That's regardless of whether they are an individualist, who supports social hierarchies, or a communitarian, who favors equality. Even when it was the exact same scientific expert, what they said affected whether these people thought they were trustworthy or not, which I feel like we've all experienced that.

 

NATALIA REAGAN: No, absolutely. I definitely feel like there's a-- I mean, when there's a big distrust in science and scientific community, it's good to understand why.

 

ASHLEY HAMER: Yeah, I think it's so much more complex than there are people who believe in science and people who don't. We all have very complicated brains that have tons of biases, and we're all just doing the best we can.

 

NATALIA REAGAN: Right. Well, science isn't a religion, right? So it's not something you necessarily believe in, and you shouldn't-- belief usually involves some sort of faith, which is sort of a blind faith. And you don't want that. Critical think is good.

 

ASHLEY HAMER: Exactly.

 

CODY GROUGH: And we also learned that even though some of us have a hard time going easy on ourselves, it might be good for achieving your goals. Studies show self-compassion lets people who make mistakes grow and learn from them, rather than wallow in self-defeat. And hey, don't worry. If you have trouble with self-compassion, scientists also found that reading short articles about it helped folks practice it.

 

ASHLEY HAMER: Or listening to podcasts about it.

 

CODY GROUGH: I was going to say, when I was on paternity leave, I listened to the episode that dropped on election day of Curiosity Daily. It featured the interview with John Tierney, the negativity bias guy. And I recorded that interview.

 

So I kind of knew what he said. But still, listening back, he specifically said something about parenting. I don't remember the exact quote, but it was something along the lines of, hey, you're allowed to make mistakes. No parent is perfect. Everyone pretty much turns out fine.

 

That made me feel so good. Because there's days as a new parent when the baby cries for a long time, and it's like, oh, am I traumatizing this baby forever, or the baby doesn't sleep a certain length of time. And you're like, oh my baby won't be able to sleep.

 

And it's like what-- by the age of like 10 or 12, most adults are able to walk and talk and sleep. And that's kind of regardless of a lot of parenting stuff. Because like, we're humans. And as a species, we have certain things that we learn to do and just kind of figure out. So this is really good. Thanks for doing that.

 

ASHLEY HAMER: Oh, I'm so glad.

 

NATALIA REAGAN: Yay. Yeah, I think that's a great example. Because he basically said, you don't have to go to every soccer practice or every game or tournament. It's just showing up for enough. You know?

 

ASHLEY HAMER: Yeah. And if you, listener, enjoyed that segment today, we have a whole bunch more coming this week. Because we're going to have a great interview with a social psychologist, who talks all about stuff like that. So it'll be great.

 

CODY GROUGH: I can't wait, because I haven't heard that one. I'm new to this whole Curiosity Daily deal. I don't know what's coming up. What's going on?

 

ASHLEY HAMER: We'll teach you. We'll teach you, Cody.

 

NATALIA REAGAN: Don't worry. I'll take you under my wing, kid.

 

CODY GROUGH: Cool, can't wait. Excellent.

 

NATALIA REAGAN: Today's stories were written by Ashley Hamer and Kelsey Donk and edited by Ashley Hamer, who's the managing editor for Curiosity Daily.

 

ASHLEY HAMER: Scriptwriting was by Natalia Reagan and Sonja Hodgen. Today's episode was edited by Jonathan McMichael, and our producer is Cody Gough.

 

CODY GROUGH: Hey, that's me. Join us again tomorrow to learn something new in just a few minutes.

 

ASHLEY HAMER: And until then, stay curious.